It all depends on how you try to resolve the conflict.
Here are 5 simple steps to reconcile:
1. Recognize when something is wrong
In this moment, perhaps you do not know what bothered the other. But it’s enough to know that something is wrong to start a conversation.
2. Do not be defensive when asking for details about what happened
The more you are willing to listen to your partner and find out what needs, the better the relationship. One of the best techniques to reduce your defensiveness is to ask you to listen and not intercede until later. Do not solve anything if you ask a lot of questions, ask for more details, and you do not even listen to it. Listen carefully, without blaming or justifying. Tell your partner before you start to listen carefully to what he has to say, and you will not respond until later.
3. Give yourself time to reflect on what you have heard before answering
To be able to not react immediately to what you have heard in an attempt to justify and protect your partner’s point of view some time. Ask yourself a few questions like: “Has this happened to me in the past?” or “How different is my partner from me to have been so painful for him?”
Prepare what you mean
It’s not a speech here. But you have to fix some things about how you want the relationship to work, where you need to improve, and why you’re sorry. A simple “I’m sorry” is not enough. Excuses must be specific and must only be offered after you truly understand the impact of your actions. Writing thoughts allows you to analyze more and therefore be better prepared to say what you really want to tell your partner.
5. Choose a good time to talk
One of the best techniques for a good resolution is to find a good time for both. This allows sentiments to sit down and remove both distraction and other factors that could make the discussion more difficult. Things must not be resolved immediately, because not both partners want this as a rule. This process requires more work than a simple “I’m sorry,” but the benefits are huge.